This painting was my savior through one of the darkest dives I’ve done in years. After DEATH in November 2024,  I was incredibly grateful for the success and support of the show, yet felt lost in so many ways without it.

Crossing the finish line and then collapsing felt like a repeat cycle that only grew darker each time it happened.

Why can’t I stop moving? Why can’t I relax? Why do I wait for people to leave my life? Why do I hold on to things that hurt me?

Maybe shit-talking myself for years as motivation was the wrong path. Maybe I need to finally reprogram the distant brother’s voice in my head telling me I can always do more.

Maybe the trauma hit a tipping point…

Maybe all this isn’t normal. Maybe I actually am crazy.

This time, more pain than I knew I could hold came up. So many memories I wish stayed forgotten.

Another shedding of layers that didn’t serve me. But not in a graceful shedding like a snake’s skin—more like burning away parts of myself that I still wanted.

A lot of it traced back to pain caused by a person or place I never signed up for, but by chance or force, I was there.

The inspiration for this painting was to drag myself out of bed while my brain was beating the living sh&t out of me, fighting for a Hail Mary pass back to the light.

This is one of my favorite paintings to date, showing again why I’ll paint till the day I die. It’s one of my purest loves. When I’m too much for the world, when the worlds to much for me… my paintings carry the truth of every corner of my mind—my dreams, and my demons.
 
My paintings catch my tears, and more than once, I’ve collapsed, begging the universe to make sense of what feels like cruel cycles of endless pain.

But with every ounce of my soul that pours into these paintings, they breathe life back into me. They give me a reason to get out of bed. They fuel my blind optimism. Through it all, my art is what’s kept me grounded.

Excited for this series that’s unfolding - The best is yet to come ❤️